Obligatory Thanksgiving Post
So I have officially decided that I am not a very good blogger. I am not regular at posting and forget about it a majority of the time. However, I feel as if it is in the unspoken code of bloggers that posts should be added for major holidays and events in life. Therefore, seeing that Thanksgiving is coming, it was time to write about it.
The last few weeks of school have been difficult. I have found myself slipping into a bad attitude. A selfish attitude. I was losing my passion and happiness and didn't understand why. However, at the moment when I thought "God I can't do this anymore," light was shed on my problem. The problem was within myself. It started out innocently enough with some hurt feelings and a bad day, but it had escalated to a selfish pity party where I could celebrate my own woes. So I decided in order to fix this a few things needed to happen, the first is I needed to see that God has truly blessed me. So, I've started writing down things I was thankful for each day. But these are not what I want to share with you. I've realized that one of the beauties of life is that the things we're not originally thankful for can become the things that we're most thankful for later. So this is my non-conventional, "I'm thankful for" list.
- I am thankful that I wasn't allowed to do what all the other kids did. My parents didn't always let me do everything. I couldn't watch the same shows and movies. I couldn't go to Jr. High dances. I could only watch an hour of TV on a school day. So now I have higher standards on movies than many people. So I didn't get involved with some silly Jr. High boy. So I learned to use my imagination and form relationships with the people who were around.
- I am thankful for not being that great at softball. Without which I might never have found my joy in theater and music. I might never have met some of my best friends.
- I am thankful I've never had a boyfriend. Have I wanted this since the age of 12? yes. I still managed to find some broken hearts without actually having one, but I know that it was for the best. Instead during this time, I've learned how to make relationships with people. I've learned how to be a friend and how to love life. I've learned how to treat boys as my brothers and love girls as my sisters.
- I am thankful for broken hearts. A broken heart can be agonizing, I'm sure I have not experienced it in all its many facets, but it has still been a part of me. But the thing about broken hearts, is that they make you turn to God. They make you open up in a way that you never thought possible. They change you and allow you to feel for other who experience the same things.
- I am thankful I didn't get the job I wanted my sophomore year in college. If I had been an RA, I might not have grown to the person I needed to be. I would not have roomed with Megan, my current roommate and best friend. I might not have gotten the opportunity to learn to work "behind the scenes". I might not have gotten to know my brothers in 2 east, who are still my brothers.
- I am thankful for getting bad grades. They help me to see that I don't need to be perfect. In fact, I couldn't if I tried.
- I am thankful for my failed plans. I know that although I may think that something is for the best, there can only be greater things on the other side. God does more than we can ask or imagine.
- I am thankful for feeling absolutely and totally overwhelmed in my first weeks as an RA. Or I might never have learned to depend on God for the little daily things. I might night have learned to need him to get through the day.
- I am thankful for conflicts between friends. Without which I might not learn to be more honest and to love them despite flaws. Without which I might not be sure that they love me despite my own flaws.
There are many more things that go on my non-conventional thankful list. But to name them all would take all night. My hope is that through seeing this list you can see that God is faithful. God takes all the hurts and disappointments and uses them for our good. Does he want these things to happen to us? I don't think so. I believe that God is feeling your pain, whatever it is more intensely than you are. He hurts when you hurt. He aches for you, his love. But take the pieces to him... and someday you might be thankful too. I know that my life is far from finished as far as disappointments and heartbreaks. But I hope that when I come to those times I can look back and say, God has been faithful and he will be faithful again.
The last few weeks of school have been difficult. I have found myself slipping into a bad attitude. A selfish attitude. I was losing my passion and happiness and didn't understand why. However, at the moment when I thought "God I can't do this anymore," light was shed on my problem. The problem was within myself. It started out innocently enough with some hurt feelings and a bad day, but it had escalated to a selfish pity party where I could celebrate my own woes. So I decided in order to fix this a few things needed to happen, the first is I needed to see that God has truly blessed me. So, I've started writing down things I was thankful for each day. But these are not what I want to share with you. I've realized that one of the beauties of life is that the things we're not originally thankful for can become the things that we're most thankful for later. So this is my non-conventional, "I'm thankful for" list.
- I am thankful that I wasn't allowed to do what all the other kids did. My parents didn't always let me do everything. I couldn't watch the same shows and movies. I couldn't go to Jr. High dances. I could only watch an hour of TV on a school day. So now I have higher standards on movies than many people. So I didn't get involved with some silly Jr. High boy. So I learned to use my imagination and form relationships with the people who were around.
- I am thankful for not being that great at softball. Without which I might never have found my joy in theater and music. I might never have met some of my best friends.
- I am thankful I've never had a boyfriend. Have I wanted this since the age of 12? yes. I still managed to find some broken hearts without actually having one, but I know that it was for the best. Instead during this time, I've learned how to make relationships with people. I've learned how to be a friend and how to love life. I've learned how to treat boys as my brothers and love girls as my sisters.
- I am thankful for broken hearts. A broken heart can be agonizing, I'm sure I have not experienced it in all its many facets, but it has still been a part of me. But the thing about broken hearts, is that they make you turn to God. They make you open up in a way that you never thought possible. They change you and allow you to feel for other who experience the same things.
- I am thankful I didn't get the job I wanted my sophomore year in college. If I had been an RA, I might not have grown to the person I needed to be. I would not have roomed with Megan, my current roommate and best friend. I might not have gotten the opportunity to learn to work "behind the scenes". I might not have gotten to know my brothers in 2 east, who are still my brothers.
- I am thankful for getting bad grades. They help me to see that I don't need to be perfect. In fact, I couldn't if I tried.
- I am thankful for my failed plans. I know that although I may think that something is for the best, there can only be greater things on the other side. God does more than we can ask or imagine.
- I am thankful for feeling absolutely and totally overwhelmed in my first weeks as an RA. Or I might never have learned to depend on God for the little daily things. I might night have learned to need him to get through the day.
- I am thankful for conflicts between friends. Without which I might not learn to be more honest and to love them despite flaws. Without which I might not be sure that they love me despite my own flaws.
There are many more things that go on my non-conventional thankful list. But to name them all would take all night. My hope is that through seeing this list you can see that God is faithful. God takes all the hurts and disappointments and uses them for our good. Does he want these things to happen to us? I don't think so. I believe that God is feeling your pain, whatever it is more intensely than you are. He hurts when you hurt. He aches for you, his love. But take the pieces to him... and someday you might be thankful too. I know that my life is far from finished as far as disappointments and heartbreaks. But I hope that when I come to those times I can look back and say, God has been faithful and he will be faithful again.
Jen awesome post! Don't you love how he takes those things that we think are gonna kill us and uses them for good! hope I can see you sometime over your holidays! Luv ya!
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